Saturday, I read my horoscope like I usually do when I work at Al's. The stressors in your life will come to bear on your ability to resist temptation. The best way to stick to your plans for yourself is to reduce your stress through exercise and/or meditation.
That night, I went to Liquor Lyle's, the Red Dragon, and Mortimer's with Dana's co-workers at Wells Fargo and various other associates. On the way there, I had the bad manners to get into first a tense discussion, then something even less appropriate, Tonia. The turning point was when, after 20 minutes of around and around about how she needed me to help her meet her 4 p.m. deadline to turn in a letter to Ward County Social Services, she answered my request for clarification of a previous statement with, You're basically, no offense, a deadbeat dad.
I have bitten my tongue until it bleeds about this issue, but I couldn't resist temptation this time. Maybe it was having pawned some audio equipment early that day so I could make it until student aid came through. Maybe it was the email I just got saying that my degree proposal was not accepted. Maybe it was the thought of my first meeting of new people at a bar since i resolved to drink only water this year.
I don't know which stressor of straw broke the camel's back but it snapped, and so did I.
If I could take back or remember every word, of course.
I think I took the middle road, there were plenty of paths that that I passed that led deeper, straight to the thick of the dark and forbidden forest of her heart...
Dana, having put up with way too much of her least favorite thing, called for meditation. Shut UP! A dumb consumption of Doomtree's Veteran
is in order! We mostly respected our unspoken vow of silence and added Slow Burn
to our passed-out-in-a-parked-car impression session.The walk between bars was longer than I thought, and after six hours of darkness there was finally a chill in the January air. I shouldn't have left my jacket in the car. At least I got to do some fitness...
Sunday morning, I went to re-read the previous horoscope from one of the unsold copies waiting to be returned. Accepting reality is the first step to co-creating it... What? That's not it! Oh, that's Friday's, oops. There's Saturday's. Wow, that really does seem to fit! Onto business - get in omelette mode!
Although I slept until eight, that only added up to eight in two nights, fewer than the "eight" I worked between. Short an employee and starting behind the eight-ball from a mess of a Saturday, I had the most difficult day of work at Al's in memory.
The thought of spending the last week of winter vacation digging out from under a paper blizzard and working two half-shifts at a job I'm a bit sick of was enough to put me on the first train I could conjure into my mind. DC? LA? NYC? WTFC, get me out of here.
If I would have been able to pack to my satisfaction, I would have been on the train to Chicago, carrying mostly crazy ideas and more books than sense would allow. I maintained my resolve to make sleep a priority, and deferred my dream for another day. By morning I could abandon that plan for a staycation in the only city I'll probably really love in this lifetime.
At lunch with Mickey, I grabbed a seat and he drinks. I noticed a stray section of newspaper, clearly the star tribune's comics. So, I snatched it to check the horoscope. Accepting reality is the first step... Friday's newspaper is really still laying on the counter on Monday, and I accept that my next step is to finally read what I almost read on Saturday.
Accepting reality is the first step to co-creating it. Your will is strong, but the universal will is stronger. You'll defer to it as you realize that any other move would be pointless.
Curious, I checked Sunday's. You will feel absolutely driven to start and finish a certain project all in one day. It's as though you are overtaken by the desire to do so. Ask yourself what deeper motive you might be trying to accomplish.
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