Wordplay, illogic and obfuscation on the way to proving that corporations are people

I have plenty of problems with Jay Ambrose's column in today's Star Tribune. To appease my weary bones, I will limit myself to a brief tirade against what I take to Abrose's thesis: Corporations are people because people own them, run them and work in them. If being owned, run and worked in by people is the test of personhood, I'm pretty sure that cars, factories and backhoes would all be people, too, right? The rest of the column is more of the same only not so nakedly nonsensical.